1. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on these themes is a bad thing.
2. Really sick people don’t complain about the predicament they are in.
3. The size of a Firefighter’s eyes at a raging inferno is directly proportional to the time he has been a Firefighter.
4. When dealing with patients, supervisors, or members of the public: if it felt good saying it, it was the wrong thing to say.
5. All bleeding stops………………………………………………eventually.
6. If the child goes quiet, be very scared.
7. Firefighting is extended periods of intense boredom, interrupted by occasional moments of sheer terror.
8. If the MVA patient LOOKS sick, then the MVA patient IS sick.
9. When responding to a call, always remember that the lowest bidder built your Fire Appliance.
10. Never get into a Fire Appliance with someone that is braver than you are.
11. A tourniquet around the neck solves all problems.
12. All fevers eventually fall to room temperature.
13. A patients weight is in direct proportion to their altitude in the building.
14. Death is a stabilization of the patient’s condition.
15. Being a Firefighter means you get to celebrate your Birthday/Christmas/ Anniversary with all your friend’s, while on duty.
16. If you respond to an MVA after midnight and you don’t find a drunk, keep looking - you’ve missed a patient.
17. The more reflective striping there is on your Turnout Gear, the easier it is for the only drunk driver going past the MVA to find you.
18. Don’t get excited about blood unless it’s your own.
19. No matter how many times and ways you ask the patient questions, their story will always change once the Police and Ambo’s arrive, making you look stupid.
20. People don’t call for the Fire Service because they did something right.
21. If they abuse the Hell out of you, they can walk.